AJ told me to never use the phrase "man hunt", or "husband hunt". -- "It sounds desperate!"
So what do you call it instead? Networking?
AJ, girls go on man hunt, not necessarily because they are desperate. Men hunt deers, not because they have been vegetarian for months and are desperate for a meaty dinner. They go for the fun, the excitement, the eye contact, the chase, the feeling of conquer, the adrenal hormone generation, the life bet on chances. These are the exact same things we look for in a man hunt.
A deer hunt is a getaway, so is a man hunt. I am ready to remove myself from one guy that I can't get.
LET THE MAN HUNT BEGIN! I promise.
Tips and ideas are welcome.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Moms Are Honest
I sent my mom some of my recent pictures, showing her my new hair style, my new co-workers.
Mom:"Hmmm, are you going to grow your hair long?"
Me:"Why?"
Mom:"You look manly. The hair looks harsh and it makes your face look like a narrow rectangular."
"Don't show this picture to any guy you may like."
Me:"But all my friends say I look cute with short hair."
Mom:"Well they are all just trying to kiss your ass."
Mom:"Why are you wearing white eyeliner on the lower lids?"
Me:"Because they make my Asian eyes look bigger!"
Mom:"It looks like you have huge eye boogers."
Mom:"Hmmm, are you going to grow your hair long?"
Me:"Why?"
Mom:"You look manly. The hair looks harsh and it makes your face look like a narrow rectangular."
"Don't show this picture to any guy you may like."
Me:"But all my friends say I look cute with short hair."
Mom:"Well they are all just trying to kiss your ass."
Mom:"Why are you wearing white eyeliner on the lower lids?"
Me:"Because they make my Asian eyes look bigger!"
Mom:"It looks like you have huge eye boogers."
Friday, April 22, 2011
Chin Dildo
AJ told me there is such a thing called "Chin Dildo".
My immediate thought was, that sounds like something designed for John Travolta.
I googled it. This is the first video that came up.
Pay attention to the last words she says too.
My immediate thought was, that sounds like something designed for John Travolta.
I googled it. This is the first video that came up.
My prediction is that she is not good in bed.
Pay attention to the last words she says too.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wise Advice
Voicemail: I am in deep shit. I need help. Call me ASAP.
Jessica:"I am seeing my ex again."
Jessica's ex-boyfriend was an alcoholic who got in jail twice because of DUI. A sweet kid, now goes to AA every week. Sober at the moment.
Me:"OK."
Jessica:"But I don't think I should. Most people don't believe in second chance."
Me:"If you are happy and love each other, give it a try."
Jessica:"I'm afraid I will get my heart broken again."
Jessica:"The mature guy in my office told me to give it a try too, but stay cautious. Don't you think this is SUCH A WISE ADVICE?!"
Me:"That is a good advice."
Jessica:"But what does he mean by being cautious?"
Me:"......I think he means taking it slow and observing."
Jessica:"See, that is a wise advice. But I don't think I can do it. I can't control my emotions."
Me:"You can try not to talk to him every day, and see him only once a week. A little distance gives you a clear mind."
Jessica:"I can't do that. Can't control it."
JESSICA, A WISE ADVICE ONLY WORKS IF YOU FOLLOW IT!
Jessica:"He wants to come to my party this weekend. But I'm not comfortable telling my friends we are back together yet. I don't want him to come."
Me:"That's fair. You just started seeing each other again. Tell him not to come."
Jessica:"I can't. He's gonna go after other girls."
Me:"I don't think he will. He's in love with you. You wouldn't do that if you were in his situation."
Jessica:"Oh, if he doesn't let me go to his party, I would be so pissed! I would have a major fight with him! I would be all over the place!"
Me:"Jessica, that's double standard."
Jessica:"I know."
2 hours on the phone, trying to offer opinions and perspectives to Jessica. Don't think she will do anything I suggested. People in love should never ask other people for advice, because they will never follow. They already have their minds made up before they call.
Jessica:"I am seeing my ex again."
Jessica's ex-boyfriend was an alcoholic who got in jail twice because of DUI. A sweet kid, now goes to AA every week. Sober at the moment.
Me:"OK."
Jessica:"But I don't think I should. Most people don't believe in second chance."
Me:"If you are happy and love each other, give it a try."
Jessica:"I'm afraid I will get my heart broken again."
Jessica:"The mature guy in my office told me to give it a try too, but stay cautious. Don't you think this is SUCH A WISE ADVICE?!"
Me:"That is a good advice."
Jessica:"But what does he mean by being cautious?"
Me:"......I think he means taking it slow and observing."
Jessica:"See, that is a wise advice. But I don't think I can do it. I can't control my emotions."
Me:"You can try not to talk to him every day, and see him only once a week. A little distance gives you a clear mind."
Jessica:"I can't do that. Can't control it."
JESSICA, A WISE ADVICE ONLY WORKS IF YOU FOLLOW IT!
Jessica:"He wants to come to my party this weekend. But I'm not comfortable telling my friends we are back together yet. I don't want him to come."
Me:"That's fair. You just started seeing each other again. Tell him not to come."
Jessica:"I can't. He's gonna go after other girls."
Me:"I don't think he will. He's in love with you. You wouldn't do that if you were in his situation."
Jessica:"Oh, if he doesn't let me go to his party, I would be so pissed! I would have a major fight with him! I would be all over the place!"
Me:"Jessica, that's double standard."
Jessica:"I know."
2 hours on the phone, trying to offer opinions and perspectives to Jessica. Don't think she will do anything I suggested. People in love should never ask other people for advice, because they will never follow. They already have their minds made up before they call.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
UFO
Ben:"I invented a new phrase."
Me:"Yeah?"
Ben:"You know what UFO means, right?"
Me:".....Yeah?"
Ben:"Unidentified Flying Object. My newly invented phrase is OFU."
Me:"......"
Ben:"Old Fat Ugly. OFU!"
Me:"......."
Ben:"Those are the only people who say hello to me on Grindr."
Me:"Yeah?"
Ben:"You know what UFO means, right?"
Me:".....Yeah?"
Ben:"Unidentified Flying Object. My newly invented phrase is OFU."
Me:"......"
Ben:"Old Fat Ugly. OFU!"
Me:"......."
Ben:"Those are the only people who say hello to me on Grindr."
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
High-Yield Savings Account
Got stood up by a guy. - "Really? I don't remember we planned anything for tonight."
On the other hand, received American Express's approval on High-Yield Savings Account.
Who cares about guys! I'm going to be rich now! I'm going to slap your face with a bundle of dollar bills, and ask:"Remember that night you stood me up? That was the beginning of my rich mama life!"
Please, clothes, drinks, furniture, be kind and don't attack my saving account, at least not too often.
On the other hand, received American Express's approval on High-Yield Savings Account.
Who cares about guys! I'm going to be rich now! I'm going to slap your face with a bundle of dollar bills, and ask:"Remember that night you stood me up? That was the beginning of my rich mama life!"
Please, clothes, drinks, furniture, be kind and don't attack my saving account, at least not too often.
April 19, 2011
Haven't been laid (by choice) for 5 months.
Would really like to be kissed.
Not that this is the reason to start a blog, just the right thought to serve as the first post.
I searched for "Excuse Me, Ma'am" on Google, checking what's out there under this title. This came up:
What did the world become?
Would really like to be kissed.
Not that this is the reason to start a blog, just the right thought to serve as the first post.
I searched for "Excuse Me, Ma'am" on Google, checking what's out there under this title. This came up:
What did the world become?
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