Love Being Single and Flirting with All the Boys!

And felt like yelling it out loud. Yup.

Twitter Profile Tagline

A lot of people write their Twitter profile tagline as: By day, a stock trader; by night, a song writer. Or by day, a dentist, by night, a plastic surgeon.

I thought I would use the same structure, and describe myself as:

By day, a deck writer. By night, a dick rider.

So clever.

Train Ride

Sitting on a 10 hour train ride with my iPhone and iPad. There are a lot of things I could do, such as reading the digital edition of the new Economist issue, or finishing the book that looks deep into international tribal diets to find cure for diabetes, heart diseases, and other modern health issues alike, or starting the new book I downloaded immediately after I saw the title-Why Men Love Bitches, or talking to the gentleman next to me who seems ultra proper and wise.

Instead, I spent at least one hour day-dreaming about having sex. I haven't thought of this subject for a while (note I still haven't been laid since my first blog post).

My body was like an unleashed horse. Imaginations went wild. I blame it on the breath-taking scenery outside of the train window. I think being close to nature calls out all the animal instincts of human beings'. My body answered the call from nature, recognizing where its most hungry part is (I could also have a meat plate now, but my stomach hasn't given me any imagination yet.).

What also triggered it was a text message I received: Come drink with me in my hotel. Haven't heard that long for a long time. I almost replied right away: yes, yes, I can bring a bottle of "oh I blacked out last night. What!? We had sex!? No way!". But I have my principle about guys I pick to sleep with-only strangers and boyfriends. Also, if you think you are so charming and I am so easy, you are not gonna get any (stupid pride a not-so-drop-dead-gorgeous girl has).

In conclusion, I am stuck with day-dream sex when my body is having its highest ambition of achieving climax (check spelling). Tragic.

*I would like to note that it's not my intention to give bad influence to kids by imagining having sex with their teacher, who happens to sit next to me, and seems ultra proper and wise. 

Pregnant

I'm pregnant with poop.

Just like real pregnancy, it always happens at the wrong time. 

Whenever I want to wear a tight dress to impress others, I get poop-pregnant with a 3 months size. Whenever I'm on a date with a guy I like, my poop-pregnancy limits my facial expression...You have to try really hard not to fart when you are poop-pregnant. You know, the pressure from the baby inside you.

Abortion is needed, ASAP. Otherwise, I might get stretch marks.

Man Hunt

AJ told me to never use the phrase "man hunt", or "husband hunt". -- "It sounds desperate!"


So what do you call it instead? Networking?


AJ, girls go on man hunt, not necessarily because they are desperate. Men hunt deers, not because they have been vegetarian for months and are desperate for a meaty dinner. They go for the fun, the excitement, the eye contact, the chase, the feeling of conquer, the adrenal hormone generation, the life bet on chances. These are the exact same things we look for in a man hunt. 


A deer hunt is a getaway, so is a man hunt. I am ready to remove myself from one guy that I can't get. 


LET THE MAN HUNT BEGIN! I promise.


Tips and ideas are welcome.

April 19, 2011

Haven't been laid (by choice) for 5 months.

Would really like to be kissed. 


Not that this is the reason to start a blog, just the right thought to serve as the first post.


I searched for "Excuse Me, Ma'am" on Google, checking what's out there under this title. This came up:

What did the world become?