Train Ride

Sitting on a 10 hour train ride with my iPhone and iPad. There are a lot of things I could do, such as reading the digital edition of the new Economist issue, or finishing the book that looks deep into international tribal diets to find cure for diabetes, heart diseases, and other modern health issues alike, or starting the new book I downloaded immediately after I saw the title-Why Men Love Bitches, or talking to the gentleman next to me who seems ultra proper and wise.

Instead, I spent at least one hour day-dreaming about having sex. I haven't thought of this subject for a while (note I still haven't been laid since my first blog post).

My body was like an unleashed horse. Imaginations went wild. I blame it on the breath-taking scenery outside of the train window. I think being close to nature calls out all the animal instincts of human beings'. My body answered the call from nature, recognizing where its most hungry part is (I could also have a meat plate now, but my stomach hasn't given me any imagination yet.).

What also triggered it was a text message I received: Come drink with me in my hotel. Haven't heard that long for a long time. I almost replied right away: yes, yes, I can bring a bottle of "oh I blacked out last night. What!? We had sex!? No way!". But I have my principle about guys I pick to sleep with-only strangers and boyfriends. Also, if you think you are so charming and I am so easy, you are not gonna get any (stupid pride a not-so-drop-dead-gorgeous girl has).

In conclusion, I am stuck with day-dream sex when my body is having its highest ambition of achieving climax (check spelling). Tragic.

*I would like to note that it's not my intention to give bad influence to kids by imagining having sex with their teacher, who happens to sit next to me, and seems ultra proper and wise. 

ID Photos

I always think I look ugly in ID photos. Sometimes I look like my grandma, sometimes I look like a prison breaker. I tried to make faces to cover the fact that I look ugly, but was told I can't make faces when getting my picture taken at Costco for the membership card.

Today, I got my confidence back. Below are pictures from various countries' VISA application photo specifications. You would think, in order to be featured as a country's entry point photo sample, you'd have to be at least average looking.

Pregnant

I'm pregnant with poop.

Just like real pregnancy, it always happens at the wrong time. 

Whenever I want to wear a tight dress to impress others, I get poop-pregnant with a 3 months size. Whenever I'm on a date with a guy I like, my poop-pregnancy limits my facial expression...You have to try really hard not to fart when you are poop-pregnant. You know, the pressure from the baby inside you.

Abortion is needed, ASAP. Otherwise, I might get stretch marks.

Subway

Found a used condom put back into the package on a subway seat. 


Where do you think the sex took place?