Love Being Single and Flirting with All the Boys!

And felt like yelling it out loud. Yup.

Twitter Profile Tagline

A lot of people write their Twitter profile tagline as: By day, a stock trader; by night, a song writer. Or by day, a dentist, by night, a plastic surgeon.

I thought I would use the same structure, and describe myself as:

By day, a deck writer. By night, a dick rider.

So clever.

Advice On Relationship

We all know, guys never understand girls, girls are always disappointed by guys.

As a result, I encourage you, when you have relationship problems, talk to a girl friend if you are a guy, and talk to a guy friend if you are a girl.

Advice from girl friends, if you are a girl, strengthens the idea that you deserve better, and you should leave him.

Advice from guy friends, if you are a guy, makes you think what she said was what she meant, and you are not good enough for her, and you should leave her.

Seriously.

Masturbation

Ben: "You must know some people can self-suck, right? Very practical skills."

Bush or No Bush

Bambi was schooled by two Easter European lately about her pubic hairstyle, which is considered as the "Pre 1975" style: no shave what-so-ever.

It raised some serious challenges against the life value she was born with: Women should not be shaving for the sake of men's pleasure.

Regardless, this has been the top of her research list, trying to find a reason to convince herself it's bad to shave, or the other way around. Right now, she is leaning towards neither.

Bambi stayed over at my place last night. As I was making us some late night snacks, I scratched my crotch (outside my pants. I pay attention to hygiene when I cook.).

Bambi: Why are you scratching？
Me: Coz it's growing out.
Bambi: Can I see it? You don't have to, but I'm curious at what length you start to itch.
Me: OK.
Bambi: Can you lower your panties a little more? I want to see what it's like down there.
Me: OK.
Bambi: Does it hurt down there when the hair gets just long enough to poke the middle part?
Me: No. The meat in the middle is cuddled by the meat on the side, and there are gaps, so the hair won't reach the middle.
Bambi: Hmmm. Everyone's vagina is not designed the same though.
Me: True. Maybe you can interview a few others, and get an average point of view.
Bambi: Good idea.

The next day we realized it was absolutely gay and gross, but completely understandable and acceptable.

Bambi, for your reference, here's the history of pubic hairstyle:

Also, some helpful information from WikiPedia:
"It is unusual for pubic hair to be dyed or painted, except incidentally to bodypainting, but although concerns have been raised about the safety of using regular hair dye for this purpose, dye has been formulated so that women may match their pubic hair either to match the (dyed) hair on their heads (colloquially referred to as 'matching the carpet to the drapes' or 'collar and cuffs'), or in whimsical colours."

Enjoy Being Assholes, Girls

Bambi and I had an awesome girls night out last night.


After a long break from dancing, and recent encounters with shitty bars and gross old men, we went out with high heels, ambition, and random anger.


Eight things we did in 4 hours made us proud, real proud. That's two per hour.


1. Two guys took our cab when Bambi and I were already late to the party. After they got in the car, I walked over to the car, leaned towards the window, and said:"Guys, we were here first, but we will let you go."


2. We sat down in the bar, facing a group across the table. This tall blonde girl was sitting like a guy, and completely exposing her underwear, which looked like a dirty cream one. We told all our friends to look at her. I took a picture of her crotch with flash off. Bambi said the Indian guy across from her was checking her crotch out the whole time. We all agreed that she could have worn a sexier underwear if she likes exposing herself.


As the group was leaving, the girl stood up. The underwear we thought she was exposing, was actually a cream pair of shorts, half covered by her top when she was sitting down.


Good thing we didn't go over and tell her that we didn't enjoy the view of the white fence.


3. Outside of the bar, a guy who was ultra buff from hip and above, but had skinny legs said hello to Bambi. Bambi turned to us, speaking in Chinese, said he needed to lose some weight. Guy sensed it:"Hey don't judge me." Bambi:"No I didn't."


4. Entered the dance club, a complete sweat house. I went to the bar to get drinks for all of us. Bar tenders were VERY slow. A big guy squeezed in from the side, and knock me away from the counter. "HELLO, I AM STANDING HERE!" "Sorry, I was just trying to close the tab..." Poor guy.


5. On the dance floor now, one creepy guy kept getting closer and closer to us, and staring at our friend without a blink. Bambi walked over to the guy:"Can you stop staring at my friend? You are creepy."


6. Later a short and weird looking guy approached us. My friend whispered to me:"He's creepy. Don't dance with him." "Oh OK." Then I turned around and started dancing with him right away. You can't pass the opportunity to dance with a short and ugly guy, too much fun. And turned out he was a really good dancer, and super nice.


7. Bambi was dancing with a guy who likes to grab girl's butt when he dances, and put his leg in-between hers. He explains:"This is the Georgian style." Bambi:"I think it's more like 'I-want-to-fuck-you-right-now style."


8. Leaving the crazy night, I saw a guy asking for Facebook from two girls on the street. "Facebook is not sincere! Ask for phone numbers!" I yelled.


Yup, we are crazy bitches - them normal bitches can't compete. And we feel great.

What Should A Heavy Metal Rock Star Look Like?

Made some friends at the Canadian embassy. Who would be at a Canadian embassy? Chinese, Indian, Latin American, and Middle Easterners. The rest of the world doesn't need a VISA to visit Canada. Go figure.

Indian dude asked me out. Never dated Indian guys before. Based on the fact that AJ (Indian) is among one of those nicest guys that are about to extinct, I thought I'd give it a try.

Conversations went really well with Aruna. A 3 hour planned date turned into a full day activity. He was fun, passionate, spontaneous, and we had a lot in common. Under the influence of alcohol and crappy Irish music, I kissed him. The kiss was also passionate, a little too passionate, he started to bite my lips. "I don't like kissing in public" I said and stopped him from biting my lips off. What are you a squirrel?

Aruna told me, he puts all the money he makes at Goldman Sachs into a recording studio in his apartment. Aruna used to be in a band in India, and they signed Sony. Now he's not in a band, but he wants to launch his music soon.

So I said "Why don't we go Karaoke now?!"

Aruna was really good at the first two songs. He was soft, he can go high, and low, and again, passionate. Very charming.

As he warmed up, he started to sing heavy metal songs, such as Paradise City. I was just starting to enjoy it, all of a sudden, he started screaming, like a rock star. No break, just screaming all the way.

I looked at the screen, and listened to Aruna screaming. Hmmm, really sexy rock star voice. Sounds like he would be very strong and take charge in bed. Then I turned to look at Aruna. He's an Indian! And he's screaming and jumping around! My head got confused. Indian singing heavy metal? I can't connect the two. Call me racist, but I just can't build the connection. Indian and heavy metal...no I can't.

I got scared and suggested leaving. Aruna was about to burn a hole in his throat anyway.